RED EYE

Or Terror Takes Place In An Entirely Different Movie

Good grief, there is no end to crappy movies, even ones which have a budget large enough to pull a third world nation into the black. Cillian Murphy plays the most unconvincing mercenary/assassin ever to rob you of a $6 movie ticket (which appears to be his most fiendish of plots). Rachel McAdams is the stereotypical ‘girl rising to the occasion’ to help foil Murphy’s plot to assassinate the head of Homeland Security. Apparently she was in on, or had no qualms about robbing you, dear friends of your $6 though. Apparently, she’s supposed to move the new HLS head to a different hotel room, at the threat of her father’s murder, so some Frenchy speaking tards can off him with a bazooka. I know what you’re thinking: hey at least we get a nice rewarding explosion, right? WRONG! Somehow even that managed to disappoint. Anyhow, half the movie takes place on a commercial airplane going from Texas to Florida. This is the place where Suspense exhibited the greatest amount of common sense of all the actors and failed to appear…ever.

Ratings and Ranting

Boredom runs wildly through this film like a five year old with scissors through kindergarten. When the actual “action” actually does make an attempt to counter weight the dull drums, things go from bad to entirely idiotic. There’s even a slap fest which extends this movie by eons between McAdams and Murphy in her dad’s house. Without giving anymore time to this film I’m heading straight to the ratings: it gets a 2 out of 6 only for making that grand attempt at being both clever AND tackling current social and global affairs at the same time, but of course bungles the whole operation and before the plane lands the movie’s essentially over.