Pine Terry Salad

Well, tha holidays ‘ave come ‘n’ gone. An’ wouldncha know at, I gained a few pounds ’round tha ol’ kilt. So I’ve been put on a diet, yeah? But ets nay so bad, ay? Neh bad.

An’ to ‘elp out all ye who’ve eaten a wee too much haggis thas season, I’ve come up with a tasty salad. Ets the “Pine Terry Salad,” named after the bloody geet who kissed me under tha missle toe, then mysteriously lost his lips!

Nay, jest foolin’, yeah? It’s a terribly unoriginal name made up of the fixins in this rabbit patch.


  • Romaine lettuce
  • Garlic & Butter Croutons
  • Italian Dressing
  • Teriyaki Sauce
  • Pineapple Rings

Ok, be taking yer lettuce – about two leaves if ets a new stalk, three er four eff ets gettin’ twords tha center – an’ break et up in yer bowl.

Next, add yer croutons te tha mix, yeah? I’ve been using garlic & butter flavor ’cause’in they ‘ave taste to ’em. But ye can use anythin’ yer lil heart desires. But then, it’d be yer salad recipe, wouldn’at? And ets my show, in’it? So use the garlic, yeah?

After using a generous halping of GARLAC croutons, coat the top with Italian dressing. The give the whole thing a sprinkle with teriaki sauce. Just a dash will do for most, but you more adventurous people would be wantin’ more.

Finally, add yer pinapple. Cut up a ring to a ring and a half into yer bowl. Dun place the whole ring on top like our daft photographer thar ay? He’s says ets for atmosphere, I said ets for eatin’ yeah? Tch, artists!

Anyways, mix tha thang up an’ eat. Ats a salad fer god’s sake, ets nay that hard, yeah?

Thas is Martin Stuart sayin’ – Good eatin’ an’ KEEP YER MITS OFF ME KNIFE, YA GIT!

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Written by

Ryan Livingston

Ryan Livingston