lunar

Fooled Moon

Dear Mr. Eccentric,

Is it true that the moon landing was done in a Hollywood studio like some people keep telling me it was, or did it really happen like I think?

Sincerely,
Curious in California

Dear Mr.CuroCa,

Ah, how politics illicit such intrigue in our lives. It is a good thing, Kurki, that you forwarded this question to, the all knowing, classified document stealing, purveyor of Persephones… wait is that right?

Down to business. Really kibbers, it all depends on which moon landing/invasion/conquest you’re talking about. The publicized one of 1969 was an obvious forgery – shot not only in Hollywood, but also in a down town London studio and in a secret base in West Berlin. The real landing took place in 1746; and, actually, you’re all the better for it. What you’ve been taught to identify as the moon and Mars, are actually the two launch pads the last hope of our dying solar system used to invade and conquer what you know as earth but what is in fact the moon.

You see, the hated Rubber Duckie Brigade was rending the 14 other planets in this solar system limb from limb over an offensive body oder no one would ‘man up’ to. After the fall of Mars, or rather the Planet of Germany, there was little hope left for anyone. So, they boarded up on their bath-time funmobiles and jetted over to the moon. The original inhabitants were of course slaughtered with what is still the most state-of-the-art military armament in the universe, the matchlock musket.

However hey have not been eradicated entirely. Now they live in the supposedly “lava filled” core of the moon/new earth. They have really no way of waging war other then the proliferation of house cats and natural disasters, however we’ve been jamming their control with both disastrous results for both them and us.

And so, there you am, Mr Curious. Yes we did land, but it was not on the moon you thought.

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